Our presence in this world includes an element that speaks volumes for us and this element is neither one’s choice nor avoidable.
BODY LANGUAGE
Our body language is actually an implicated blend of our mental health, mental state of being, thoughts and emotions on our entire body in the form of postures, actions and expressions.
Body language conveys major clues about you or other people such as one’s confidence, flexibility, assertiveness, interest, openness, intelligence and empathy.
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Let us now move onto the 10 miraculous methods of mastering body language:
1. Eye Contact: Maintain regular eye contact with the speaker allowing spaces in between. When you are talking, connect to the audience through your eyes more than your words because most eyes show genuineness and confidence. Avoid over- blinking is downright unacceptable. Have a genuine look and gentle expression. Avoid all micro-expressions coming from sudden power- cut, an itching in the body etc. Arrogant stares are catastrophic. Looking at the watch explains disinterest; at own feet or ground indicates shame or guilt. Screening or covering the eyes expresses hidden emotions and interpreted as the absence of willingness to look at or face things.
An eye contact also conveys that you are listening to the speaker and motivates him/her and this makes communication process a success whereas its absence is an absolute failure. Also, express through eyebrows but don’t overdo it, you’re there to express not dance through your face!
2. Palms, arms & shoulders: Palms should be facing down on podiums, tables etc if you have to show authority and leadership.
Hand gestures must always be appropriate, humble and relevant. Avoid aggressive movements or offensive gestures for you are not supposed to put up a puppet show.
Shoulders indicate power and responsibility; hence they shouldn't be drooping but broad. If at all you are walking, don’t sway your arms here and there. Hands crossed against chest imply a person who tries to hide something, giving incomplete or incorrect information. Don’t make that danger sign with the cross of arms to the chest.
3. Sincere smile: A big grin is fake interest but a lack of smile means no interest. A genuine smile pleases people but a smile with an evident bitten lip leaves an impression of being cheated or played with.
Gestures such as licking lips express in-confidence. I can understand uncomfortable feelings in the stomach while speaking or in crucial meetings but a genuine smile brings in appreciation, trust and respect.
Occasionally jokes make us laugh, but this doesn't mean you will fall off the chair or will be the most audible in the entire scenario. Be the emotionally balanced version of yourself by not reacting loudly to mishaps, accidents or events.
Nodding the head while communicating means listening but neither avoid it nor overdo it, better to be balanced. Subtlety is boon, loudness is bane.
4. Reduce overall movement: Your body language should never reflect you are in your friend’s room relaxing. Hence, the flipping or playing with the hair must be limited.
Licking the lip, biting nails, sucking the thumb or biting the lip is a crime, thus, must be done away with. Avoid touching your face which includes forehead, itchy nose, cheeks or sucking your teeth.
Pacing up and down the room shows impatience and excitement; shaking legs indicates nervousness; unnecessary limping means being unconfident to progress; jumping on toes means restlessness while rubbing one’s ankles together means impatience and willingness to end something.
For males, a leg on leg is firstly girly but a leg folded onto the other leg’s knee is power.
5. Stand with ease and take space: A person shouldn't hide or take too much space if standing or sitting among a crowd. While standing, the space between legs must be equal to the distance between the shoulders, neither more nor less.
Males must stand with a straight back, 180 degree facing neck, eased shoulders, chest out, stomach in and avoid all stiffness.
Females should avoid flimsy standing postures, unnecessary slouching or leaning. The clue here is smartness not being casual.
6. Handshakes: Handshake should be firm. Loose handshake means a dead fish indicating lack of interest. A tight- pressurizing handshake means willingness to crush others, express power, superiority or even hatred. Avoid politician hand shake in corporate life Biting nails conveys utter impatience, nervousness and frustration. Hidden hands or hands in pocket indicate our desire to maintain confidentiality; clasping hands means holding onto something tightly and lack of openness; fidgeting hands or shivering hands mean nervousness. Pointing the wrong fingers such as small finger or middle finger is totally and absolutely unacceptable. Pointing pens or fingers directly at others is an offence.
7. Using the mouth: Do not open your mouth too wide at any cost, it doesn't win you brownie points. Also do not nod when you don’t know or understand something. You may use Hindi or any other local language . Use silence to think and don’t speak something unless you’re sure to avoid becoming a laughing stock. Offer to give opinion if you are more than sure with ‘I suggest’, ‘may be’ or ‘perhaps’. Do not stand too close to someone. Your spit may reach them or they can smell your breath; which is obnoxious and certainly against etiquettes.
8. Inherent coolness: Your presence must be unique not conveying Hitlerism. Use tricks, interaction and humor but not at the cost of others. Be polite in your disagreements. There is no need to turn red with a loud scream. Social congregations expect humility.
9. Mirror Work: Practice your speeches, content, check appearances etc in mirror. A mirror helps to build confidence and makes you identify shortfalls. It helps to build your charisma and gives you an experience on how you look, act or speak beforehand. It helps to build self-worth and trust in oneself.
10. Grooming: Bringing your appearances into picture, I would like to improve your body presence by providing certain tips here.
Hair must be trimmed neatly. Gel or hair sprays can be used to manage the same. No stray hair please. Eyes must not be red or swollen indicating drinks consumed on previous night Nasal hair must be neatly trimmed Moustache and beard must be shaved or stylishly well maintained (for males) Ears must be clean To avoid bad breath, mint or substitute must be used Tie must in its right place and matching the overall clothes Clean and ironed clothes only with stiff collars and cuffs Belt must not be tied loosely Shoes should be polished and laces tied Use a mild perfume if at all used. Don’t smell with a mixture of aftershave, cologne, deodorant and perfume Nails must be trimmed, avoid loud nail paints. Heels should be worn only if easily worn without falling (females) Wearing decent not loud jewelry As said before body language speaks volumes hence one must be extremely cautious about it and remember an impression can be made easily with few efforts than being scoffed at or being an embarrassing point of reference for others!
Contributed by Chayan Jain (Class of 2011-2013, IBS HYDERABAD)